Co-dependency – When It’s Time to Let Go

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This isn’t my usual post, however, it’s just as important as everything else I write for myself and share with the Pagan community. I think it’s time to talk about a common theme among many Pagans in our extended Tribe and something I am intimately aware of because I have been subject to this pain many times in my life. I’m no better than anyone else, however, I’ve taken some time to reevaluate my life and move on from the pain that has been gnawing at me. I want to share a part of myself with all of you so that others can take part in the healing that is so desperately needed in our society.

Like Níðhöggr devouring at Yggdrasil, co-dependent relationships can eat away at our roots and leave us depleted and needing more nourishment than we can find. It is an exhausting process to be in a relationship that drains your resources, be it financially, emotionally, psychically, physically or any other way. It was important for me to find the source of the issue from my past before planning an attack to move through the pain before I was completely ingested by the great beast who has been following me throughout my entire life.

While monster has taken many forms and has had many heads like a hydra, it remains the same core affair that lurks beneath the surface of my psyche. It’s played a major role in my romantic relationships, friendships, and also with “spiritual” teachers. The end result is always the same, I end up completely at the end of my rope, crying hysterically, and depleted of everything that makes me who I am. And then, I go through a cycle of rebuilding myself and rewriting some core assets of my personality in an attempt to try again. The series of events has been repeating its self as long as I can remember until I decided, one day, I didn’t want that kind of pain in my life any more. It was like a madness that kept repeating and I always expected to see a different result. It never came and it even got to the point where I began having health problems triggered by a co-dependent relationship.

So where does a person begin to unravel the tangle of events that is their life in order to find the root cause of what happened? For myself, I had to go back to a terrifying time period in life known as my childhood. I could go on and on about the endless emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I encountered as a child and the lack of tools I had to deal with these things, however I won’t bore anyone with that jumbled mess of rantings. What I will tell you is that I took stock of being an adult who is safe and well provided for by the universe, gifted with special abilities that were forged from the fire of my infancy. That’s a special way of saying, I grew up and did a reality check of my surroundings. I also concluded that even though I felt weak and helpless as a child, I was far from it. The Gods gifted me with endurance and compassion and those have been two special endowments that have reaped endless rewards on my journey even if I couldn’t see it for myself.

What I do remember, is this terribly sad story that sits in the back of my mind. Just for starters, let me say that I had a great dad. He had many faults, yet he truly loved his daughter and tried to teach me what I needed to grow as a person into adulthood. He passed away when I was 15 years old, however his lessons and intent didn’t die with him. They remained with me for all of my years and I will always be learning from his mistakes. There is no shame in that, in fact, we call that evolution. Let me tell you about my dad and his friend who we’ll call Edward.

My dad met Edward when he was in a particularly bad place in life. Edward did not have a home, he did not have money, and he did have a family that was falling apart. He was also heavily addicted to narcotics. My dad was a contrast to Edward. My dad was a businessman, engineer, and a natural amplifier of success. You could say my dad had a “fear of success” although he conquered everything he set his mind to and did it in such an easy manner that people around him were put off by it and tried to keep him down. My dad didn’t hold this natural success and abundance of resources against anyone or hoard it. He did just the opposite, he shared with everyone he could and he did it because he wanted those people to feel special and love themselves – even if it was just for a few moments in their life.

My dad’s unwavering compassion drove him to hire Edward as a business partner and share the beloved lawn sprinkler business in New York that he inherited from his dad. My dad was an engineer and gave up that passion so that he could honor his father in death and take on his business so that a part of my grandfather’s legacy would live on. My dad showered Edward in lavish gifts, including a brand-new 1991 GMC Jimmy, helped him co-sign on a home, and even spent countless hours trying to help make Edward’s marriage to his wife Jenny work when drugs and alcohol got in the way.

What was my dad’s reward for his undying devotion to Edward? Well, my dad’s health started on the decline when I was nine years old. He started to go blind and have complications with his diabetes due to the intense stress brought on by not only his own life, business life, also the stress of being Edward’s friend. He was scared and struggling and he turned to Edward for help in his darkest hour. Edward had a plan to solve everything right away for my dad, and my dad believed him. Edward produced a paper for my dad to sign that was supposed to be a cleverly thought-out financial plan that would save the company that was hemorrhaging money due to Edward who was stealing large amounts of cash for his drug habit. My dad was aware of his issue and unfortunately chose to enable him instead of cutting the cord. Edward’s supposed plan? He allowed my dad to sign away the business that he had worked so hard to create.

My dad died a few years later from a heart attack. I personally think my dad really did die of a broken heart from all those who used him. Edward was one in a sea of users that my dad happily served up everything he had to give.  Now it’s not a totally sad story because since Edward was blissfully unaware of the depth of the financial problems and thought my dad would always be there to bale him out, Edward got the company – and also the massive about of debt and liens that went with it. Undoubtedly, my dad was seeking some kind of approval that was missing from his life, most likely his relationship with his mother that was also heavily abusive and codependent in nature.

I’m telling this story to those out there who will see the true nature of this tale and take a lesson from it. If you have a person in your life that actively works against you, whether they are a long-time lover, mom, dad, adult child, or some other relative or perhaps a friend that you identify with – it’s time to cut the cord and let them go their separate ways.  Let me give you something that’s going to help and even if you have to change it to adapt it to yourself personally, that’s okay as long as you follow the theme of healing:

1. You are responsible only for your own emotions, well-being, feelings, or whatever you want to call it UNLESS you are a parent of minor children. Then you do share responsibility in shaping little lives. You can not MAKE some one happy with gifts, energy, kind words, or placing responsibility on them to help them rise. They will only rise when they are ready – if they ever become ready.

2. When you drop users, guess what happens? Wonderful people come into your life who fill the void left by these black holes. You have to own those connections though and gravitate towards the people that actually want you in their life. If you continue to ignore the folks who are reaching out because you are reaching out to the black hole, you’ll lose them. Let yourself be served for once and stop giving all that you have in order to make some jerk smile for a moment and leave yourself open to be hurt again.

You’ve been giving so much that the universe wants to repay you. Let that happen. Embrace it and take pride in the fact that you’re the total opposite of the people you’ve been trying to help.

3. Build shields for times when these people surface. If these users are a theme in your life such as they have been in mine, accept that you have made yourself available to be used. You can’t blame starving animals for biting the hand that feeds. You put your hand out there and they acted true to their nature. It is your responsibility to protect yourself from these individuals. That means not falling for the same manipulation and self-deprecating comments and behaviors that have never brought you long-standing happiness in the past.

4. Accept that you are a really cool person and that you are worthy of something better. This is the hard part for those struggling with the pain caused by codependent relationship. The abuser knows that you are in a low place and they keep you there because you’re more useful to them if you have no self worth. Why would they ever want you to rise up, look at them and see them for what they truly are? That means that you would do the unthinkable and LEAVE THEM! Who else is standing around cheer leading and clapping for them? No one. Only you. So keeping you on the back burner for when they are ready to fall apart is part of the plan whether they consciously acknowledge that or not. Think about it, if you wouldn’t treat some one as badly as they are treating you, why does this make it alright? IT DOESN’T!

5. You can not change people, take on projects, or anything else of that nature. As passionately as I’ve wanted to help people via Clergy, I’ve found that the most responsive people are the ones who come looking for help. Even if they don’t know what they need, it means that these people are ready to make some kind of change and listen. Actually, one of my favorite lines from Hermes Trismegistus (father of Hermetics) states  that knowledge is available only to those ready to listen. People have to be ready and they have to be ready in their own time. You can’t force it with any amount of gifting, energy, or will.

I will tell you this, however. People can and do change although it usually takes very special circumstances that are usually that individual hitting rock bottom. As caretakers, we tend to protect people from hitting rock-bottom and we’re actually doing them a disservice. Either they will change or they will not. Accept that you’ve done all you can and walk away for self preservation. A person hitting rock bottom will try to take everyone down with them and this includes myself which is why I can disperse this wisdom from my own past. Also, do not be embittered towards the rest of humanity, there are people out there who are worth it and will give you as much attention as you give them.

6. Hold back for no one. If you’re giving all this energy to people than that tells me that you’re a pretty strong and amazing person yourself. It also means you’re holding back from who you truly are and that’s a crime! You’re meant to use that great abundance for something else and it isn’t for trying to fill the black holes. It’s for shining brightly as the newborn sun in the morning, for glowing like the silvery Moon as She dances in the sky, it’s for you to find the beauty that was covered by darkness.

Understand that you probably are the same as me and this behavior of codependency has been going on for quite some time.  As painful as it was for me to remember where the cycle started – with my father – I was then able to follow the course of his life and prevent it from happening in my own life. This changes our ancestral Karma and gives us strength to break through the barriers of our own psyche. We can’t change others yet we can change ourselves which does impact the world!

 

What now?

Well, you can’t blame people for being themselves. Forgive them not for them, forgive them for yourself so that you can move on. You can get angry and I encourage you to let it out either with a friend you can trust, in writing, artwork or some other healthy outlet. Then you need to move on. People are always going to use those who make themselves available to be used. What you can do is recognize the patterns from your past and don’t repeat the same mistakes. Don’t be mad at yourself either, if you’re like me, this was a completely normal way to be until I realized that it wasn’t healthy.

Walk away from those people. You don’t need to give them a reason other than “This isn’t healthy for me.” Let them sulk, let them realize what they’ve lost and let the Universe and Karma deal with them as it is intended to be. Then go find something to pour all of your heart and soul into that is both healthy and fulfilling. Maybe it’s time to focus just on you and no one else. Find out what treasures are hidden beneath that beautiful reflection in the mirror. I did it and I know you can too.

And another thought – if you’re hanging on to these relationships because you’re afraid to be alone, I hate to say it – you already are alone. Take heart, you’ve been running the show for this ill individual and I bet you’ve been doing a lot of brave things without their help. You are strong enough to battle this out without their “help” and find out how truly courageous you really are on the inside.

Blessing to Those in Need of Self Preservation

May the Gods favor the souls who are generous in every nature,
may the Universe grant you the vital nourishment you need,
and the courage to break free of your bonds.
You were put here to feel, express, and give
Not to be abused, tied up, or held back
May you find the shine that exists within you,
and cast off the darkness that has hampered your life.
You are no longer a prisoner!
You are free!
You are worth more than you have been seeking.
You are alive! You are beautiful as the reflection that you seek!
Embrace the freedom and find others who are freed from such bonds!
Serve and be served, the Universe is yours, so mote it be!

 

We are the Divine Spark

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Sitting in Catholic school as a young child was a fascinating experience for me. The world of Saints, the Virgin Mary, the sacrifice of the Christ, and sacred Trinity unfolded before me like a vast map. It might sound funny that someone who heavily entrenched in Paganism would fondly remember their enforced Catholic upbringing as being a guide post into a much larger spiritual path – yet it’s true! Much of Catholicism incorporated themes from Paganism because it had to be relevant for the people it was trying to convert. One concept that plagued me during the entire experience, however, was the intangibility of God. People around me felt that God was an invisible presence in our lives. I felt exactly the opposite as I observed first hand, the Christian God working through people for better or worse depending on their individual circumstances.

There is one lesson we can take back from the Catholics and incorporate into the tapestry of modern Paganism. Believe it or not, the concept of canonized believers, such as Saint Brigid of Ireland (who be the way, is one of ours) is a valuable commodity to Paganism in terms of having our Gods become more tangible in our lives. Whereas Catholicism and Christianity are monotheistic and purport that there is only one God and one Savior to mankind, there are a litany of relatable Saints that do the same job as the multi-faceted view of Divinity in Paganism. Could this be one of the missing links that was lost to Paganism during the slow disintegration of our Path in ancient times?

How could the Catholic approach of Saints and other venerated individuals play a part in a spiritual path so uniquely different? Our ancestors were a clever and industrious people who took their wisdom from the world around them. Many of our Gods have very distinctly human traits. It is possible in some areas of thought, that the Gods that seem so distant from us are actually closer than we may think. Like many (but not all) of the Catholic Saints, it is possible that they were actual people with a lineage. Does this take away from Divinity to be equated with humanity? I think a healthy Pagan ego allows for our Gods to be nearer to us in their defeats as well as their victories so that They provide a path of learning for Their devotee.  These individuals may well be related to you by a very real and scientific discovery known as genetics!

The area of genetic memory and genetic mapping has become a subject of intense debate and an adventure in the odyssey of humanity. As many Pagans subscribe to “As above, so below” and the “Spiral Path” which is the journey from the inner worlds to the outer worlds (and vice versa), so Scientists have taken exploration of the stars and turned inward to understand the mystery of our origins through our DNA. We have discovered that our genetics are much more than meet the eye and can unravel a new level of self-realization that was otherwise unknown to us. So what does this have to do with our Gods?

In the future, after we are deceased, our children will look back at our deeds. They will decide for themselves if we were a fair and just society or terrible monsters. This is the normal human progression and should not be ignored. Is it possible that modern Pagans in this present age are looking back at individuals and deciding if their deeds are worthy of Godhead or if they should be considered the true villains of history. How do you see Gandhi? Were his deeds similar to that of Krishna or another God? How do you perceive Hitler? Based on available literature and historical knowledge, does this individual with their acts fall into a category that is Godlike? Not all Gods in the Pagan pantheon are benevolent and so we have to consider that these historical characters from our past, which we share genetics with, are part of ourselves.

So genetics links us. There’s debate in the works if Odin was a real person and regardless if that’s fact, we can agree that the concept of Odin and His deeds were dreamed up by one of our ancestors. Divinity is within us and our Gods are as tangible as we are and within our reach. For those struggling with depression, illness, or any other malady that occurs from living in modern society – take heart. You are a richly diverse collection of ancestors who not only had the will to survive, also the will to create epic Gods who are based on the deeds of others.

Next time you are feeling apart from the Gods or the world, stop and think for a moment. You are from that divergent mixture of dreams, genetics, science and theology. You are the Divine Spark of the Gods and there is nothing preventing you from changing anything in your life that has you down. Blessed Be!

Kemetic Tribal Acceptance Ritual for Lughnasadh

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Introduction

Shining Quill: Welcome to Deeply Rooted’s Acceptance Ritual. This is a Kemetic or Ancient Egyptian themed ritual designed to help all of you feel welcomed in our Tribe. We will now be opening the Doorways between worlds by calling upon the Temples of the Gods and the respective Element They represent.  When I say, “Hail and Welcome!” please repeat that so that the Gods can hear your enthusiasm. Please, turn to the North and welcome the Goddess Isis!

 

Temples of the Directions and Invocation of the Gods of Ancient Egypt

North – Hail to the Temple of Isis, to the enchanting Queen of the Northern Kingdom, I ask You to join us and bring with You all gifts that come from the realm of Earth! Sprouting forth from the scroll of papyri to the vision before our eyes! Be now known as You were in the time of our ancestors! Be called to us, Anqet! Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Please turn to the East and welcome the God Anubis!

East – Hail to the Temple of Anubus, the exquisite Lord of the Eastern Kingdom, I ask You to join us and bring with You all the gifts that come from the realm of the East! Sprouting forth from the scroll of papyri to the vision before our eyes! Be now known as You were in the time of our ancestors! Be called to us, Anupu! Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Please turn to the South and welcome the Goddess Maat!

South – Hail to the Temple of Maat, the balanced Queen of the Southern Kingdom, I ask You to join us and bring with You all the gifts that come from the realm of the South! Sprouting forth from the scroll of papyri to the vision before our eyes! Be now known as You were in the time of our ancestors! Be called to us, Mayet! Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Please turn to the West and welcome the God Thoth!

West – Hail to the Temple of Thoth, the forthright Lord of the Western Kingdom, I ask You to join us and bring with You all the gifts that come from the realm of the West! Sprouting forth from the scroll of papyri to the vision before our eyes! Be now known as You were in the time of our ancestors! Be called to us, Tehuti! Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Please turn to the fire before us and welcome the Goddess Ammit!

Spirit – Hail to the Temple of Ammit, the radiant Queen of Spirit and and Vanquisher of Demons, I ask You to Join us and bring with You all the gifts that come from the realm of Spirit! Sprouting forth from the scroll of papyri to the vision before our eyes! Be now known as You were in the time of our ancestors! Be called to us,  Ahemait!

Hail and Welcome!

May this Circle be open yet never broken! As above, so below. As within, so without. So mote it be!

 

We will now be calling forth Lord Osiris and His companion, Lady Nephthys.

 

Invocation of Osiris and His Guide Nephthys

Lordly Osiris, persistent Ruler of the Dead and the abundant source of life that is the Nile, please come forth and honor us with Your presence. Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Lady Nephthys, humble Protectess of the Dead and the vigilant Nurse of the People, please come forth and honor us with Your presence. Hail and Welcome!

Hail and Welcome!

Journey of Osiris through the Underworld

Isis (Quill): Lord Thoth, nothing unwritten can ever manifest. Are You ready to record our experience and unite the upper and lower worlds that exist between the realm of dreams and the realm of the material?

Thoth (Wade): Yes, I will it!

Isis (Quill): Lord Osiris, I have called You from the sands of time and scrolls of the papyri to help us through this exploration of mind, body, and spirit. You who have traveled through the Underworld and who have been Reborn into the Tribe of Gods, please assist us in our own journey. Will You face this challenge bravely and with honor?

Osiris (John): Yes, I will it!

Maat (Brandi): Lady Nephthys, I have called You from the sands of time and scrolls of the papyri to help our King through His trials. Are you prepared to guide the King once more on His way and protect Him in the shadow of doubt?

Nephthys (Ashley): Yes, I will it!

Isis (Quill): Lordly Osiris, the first leg of Your odyssey is to face the Annihilator of Unworthy Souls, Lady Ammit.  Pass Your petition to the inferno. Feed the great beast all of Your demons, regrets, and fears. Be cleansed in Her fires. Please tell Ammit why You are worthy of the next challenge and be spared complete destruction.

Osiris (John): Speak whatever words are truthful to You, John. There are no wrong answers here as long as they are truth. If You prefer to cast Your petition into the fire with no words, that’s fine. Tell Ammit You are worthy and Ammit will let You pass.

Ammit (Kevin): Your demons are released from You. You come to the Tribe with a clean slate and a light soul. You may pass!

Isis (Quill): Osiris, You have faced the lake of fire and are reborn. Lady Nephtys, please offer our King a drink after His trial.

Nephthys (Ashley): It is My honor to serve all those who traveled these halls. Those Lost and Recovered. Drink and be renewed, O’ My Rejuvenated King!

Osiris (John): I am ready for My next challenge!

Isis (Quill): You will now face Lord Anubis and the Scales of Justice. You will be asked a question and Your answer will determine the course of Your path. Your heart and deeds will be weighed upon the Tribe and judged. If You have faced this challenge bravely and truthfully, You will be ushered to the next part of Your journey. Lord Thoth, please record the answers of all that face Lord Anubis.

Osiris faces Lord Anubis in the East. Anubis has His hands crossed and asks:

Anubis(Chad): How do You enter our Tribe?

Osiris (John): Speak whatever words are truthful to You, John. There are no wrong answers here as long as they are authentic.

Anubis (Chad): Chad, make Your decision. Is this a worthy way to enter our Tribe? There is no wrong answer as long as it is authentic.

Osiris (John): I have been weighed upon the scales. Such is my fate to be entwined in the tapestry of Deeply Rooted.

Isis (Quill): Our Lord has been proven worthy in the eyes of the Tribe. Please, Lady Nephthys, feed Him the cake to sustain Him on the Pathway of Understanding.

Nephthys (Ashley): It is My duty and sacred privilege to sustain the Tribe and the King of Duat.

Isis (Quill): Our King, sit upon the throne and watch as others face the Tribe. This shroud represents Your victory over the death of the self and rebirth into higher understanding. The shroud covers the face of the King in Death and swaddles Him from the fertile waters of the Great Mother’s womb. Be now the sovereign Lord over the domain of mind, body, and spirit! HAIL!

You were once called by a different name in another life. Be freed from ignorance, be freed from injustice, be rid of the destruction caused by the passage of discrimination. You will now be known by (IT’S A SECRET!) HAIL AND WELCOME!

Maat (Brandi) comes forth and produces a small covered box. She speaks directly to Osiris.

Maat (Brandi): You are now a worthy member of our Tribe. There are many mysteries that are buried in Deeply Rooted. Know now the first mystery and keep it with You always. The first mystery of Deeply Rooted is the most important. It represents the most critical element of our survival and is the most sacred of all the truths You will learn upon Your way. Remember, the most important part of Deeply Rooted is: (Maat uncovers the box and shows Osiris the mystery. This is repeated for everyone who comes through the ritual. )

Isis (Quill): Those who wish to walk the path of Our Lord and Lady, please come forward. Meet each challenge with bravery, conviction, and integrity.

Participants mill through the course of challenges. First they meet with Ammit, have their answers recorded by Thoth. They drink the water and cakes provided by Nephthys, they then face Anubis and have their fate decided. When this is completed, they are shown the first mystery of Deeply Rooted.  When all have finished, Maat gives Her blessing upon the occasion and closes quarters. Participants rejoin the circle.

Maat’s Blessing and Quarter Closing

Maat (Brandi): I am the Lady who is built upon the solid foundation of Tribe.  My presence in your life will afford you no chaos. For I am Truth and I am Order. I am the beauty of the Sky, the abundance of the Nile, I am the sting of cleansing Fire, and I am the strength of Earth. I am the voice of reason who dwells in the hearts and minds of all gathered. Hail and Welcome the Tribe of Deeply Rooted! Hail to the Past, Present, and Future Tribe of Pagans! Such is our harvest. SO MOTE IT BE!

So Mote it Be!

Maat (Brandi):

King Osiris, Queen Nephthys, I unburden You now! Close now the doors to the realm of the Lord and Lady. Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

To the Temple of Spirit, I unburden You now! Close now the doors of the realm of Ammit! Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

To the Temple of the West, I unburden You now! Close now the doors of the realm of Thoth! Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

To the Temple of the East, I unburden You now! Close now the doors of the realm of Anubis! Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

To the Temple of the North, I unburden You now! Close now the doors of the realm of Isis! Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

To the Temple of the South, I unburden Myself now! I close now the doors of the realm of Maat! Farewell and Thank You!

Farewell and Thank You!

 

Quill: Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet again! Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Unicorn. A Journey through Mental Illness and What Exists at the End of the Rainbow.

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Unicorns don’t just exist in stories and in the place between waking and dreams. Unicorns are real and the path to finding one can be hard. Let me take you on my journey of finding my inner Unicorn and defining a new chapter for myself.

I remember being very young, perhaps five or six years old and sitting in the office of a trained professional who was telling my parents about the mental condition of their only daughter. Born prematurely and a resident in a house full of verbal and physical abuse had left me shattered on the inside and even at my tender age, it was readily evident. In school I was a trouble maker, out-spoken and seemingly in a world of my own. The other kids didn’t want anything to do with me and I spent a lot of my time playing alone in my room with a host of toys. These toys became my friends and guides in the confusing jungle of growing up. As the therapist was making recommendations to my parents in an attempt to stop the behaviors I was exhibiting at school, I remember holding on to my beloved My Little Pony toys, two pastel Unicorns named Gusty and Twilight.

Holding those two little toys tightly in my small hands, I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and blurring them out of view. I was concentrating hard on drowning out the room and reality and projecting something better to save my sanity. I had always envisioned myself as a Unicorn, complete with a glittery horn and two wings to help me soar above the hurricane that existed within my household. No matter how much I kept that vision in my mind, I was still plagued with fear and chaos that seemed to rule my life like two tyrants. I kept falling in life and blaming everyone for my pain. I was also ignoring the mental illness that infested every nook and cranny of my young mind. I became set in this pattern of blame and ignorance and even though as a Pagan I worshiped Kali – The Mother of Banishing Ego, I was still caught in the matrix of deceit.  As I got older, the damage that was done to me by my upbringing began to spiral outwards and do damage to those around me. It made for many tearful losses including former relationships with good friends. The saddest part? I didn’t even see what I was doing wrong so I could fix it.

That’s when enlightenment came to me one day after a particularly painful moment. I had finally snapped quite fully and I had done it publicly during a Pagan gathering. My upset and finger-pointing during a session of drama had finally boiled over and the entirety of my Tribe witnessed a complete and utter meltdown. I was reduced to a pile of screeching nonsense while my friends looked on with horror and concern. While I had aspired to be a healer and Priestess, I had done exactly the opposite. I realized it in that moment yet I was still unable to connect the cause of the event to the moment. I had been avoiding the source of source of pain for so long, the festering disease finally reared it’s ugly head and took me over. Luckily, there’s a rainbow at the end of this Unicorn hunt.

That could have been the moment I decided to give up. I could have run, screaming from my community like a coward. I could have ignored the phone calls from my comrades and sulked in loneliness at what I had done.  While I have been many things in my life, I have never been a coward. In the process of transforming my dreams and aspirations into reality, I learned that I could be those Unicorns that I had written stories about. So what if I redefined for myself what it would be like living with a mental illness and instead of masking the problem, I learned how to take that weakness and make it a strength? Is such a thing possible?

You bet it is! Are unicorns real? We’ll let’s see the process in uncovering this supposed mythical creature that existed within me. I decided to write down on a piece of paper what I wanted to be:

  • Healer
  • Friend
  • Priestess
  • Advisor
  • Writer

Then I wrote what I already possessed to make those dreams come true. After all, no one person is completely useless and without worth. Sometimes we have to dig really deep to find it, although we can be sure that it’s there if we’re willing to put in the effort to discover our strengths. The next part required me to step outside my comfort zone of “always being right” and ask others for the help I needed. That takes a practice of humility which is the first virtue of being a Unicorn. I scribbled what was necessary to obtain from others to accomplish this goal should challenges arise (and by the way, they always do.) I had to take an inventory of who my friends really were and then build up the courage to ask them to help me in my quest. While we should aspire to be self-reliant, we should also know the beautiful balance that comes about when we learn to trust others. Such trust in others means a trust of the self and those two concepts make up the Yin Yang that helps a mentally ill person rise up.

After a lot of work, I found myself rising slowly every day. Instead of making big, dramatic changes that I couldn’t sustain, I had to make small ones that became the stepping stones out of the cave of darkness that I felt trapped in. Some moments in my life, I was again a screeching mess because I was backsliding. I felt so ashamed of myself, yet a good friend reminded me of the real journey ahead of myself.  Backsliding is normal and part of the healing process. It’s actually a sign of growth as your mind will fight you during deep depression in an attempt to keep you in a place that is comfortable. This is much like a mental version of homeostasis, the function of the body to keep consistent hormones, temperatures and other natural occurrences to promote physical harmony. Sometimes this works against us as we are so caught in the momentum of our past, we begin to feel overwhelmed. If we are persistent in the need to become better than our original programming, we become so much more than we could have imagined. It might not have felt like I was doing much at first, yet I was coming along in leaps and bounds that were noticeable not only to others, also myself! That’s the Magick that Paganism helped inspire from me and for which I am truly grateful.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines a Unicorn as such:

1 a : a mythical, usually white animal generally depicted with the body and head of a horse with long flowing mane and tail and a single often spiraled horn in the middle of the forehead
b : an animal mentioned in the Bible that is usually considered an aurochs, a one-horned rhinoceros, or an antelope

2 : something unusual, rare, or unique

  • There’s the elusive unicorn: headphones that do everything well and work in any situation.
  • —Damon Darlin
  • In Washington, D.C., truth is now a veritable unicorn.
  • —Marilyn M. Singleton
  • … he’s like baseball’s version of a unicorn—a true two-way player.
  • —Tony Paul

I say Unicorns are something else and definitely something tangible and attainable. Unicorns don’t have to be mythological and unseen creatures from our childhoods. As an empowered witch and Pagan, I have the opportunity to redefine words and transform my space. So what is a unicorn in terms of Paganism?

A Unicorn is any mentally ill person who aspires to be more than the sum of their challenges. We all have challenges to work through. Unicorns are those people that don’t mask the issue, they deal with it head on with a powerful sword attached to their head. Unicorns use this ability to heal others who are caught in the same web of lies. It requires some enlightenment readily available through observation to make that horn grow. It takes reaching for the sky to grow those wings. It’s an evolution of mankind into something more. Heal yourself and you’re able to heal others and there is no greater gift than that in the Universe.

For others out there who are struggling, I want to give you this blessing! Take heart, you’re not the sum of your diagnosis. You are not just a person with autism, PTSD, Bi-polar.  You’re not crippled and useless. You can be an inspiration for yourself and an invention of your own making. Everyone has the potential inside of them to contribute to life. There is so much more to the mural of your life than a medical diagnosis or a disability. Don’t give up! You are a person who happens to be experiencing these challenges and have a choice to overcome it in the healthiest, most all-encompassing way that will transform that spectrum into a palette for you to paint the final picture of your destiny. Be a Unicorn, a Faerie, anything that dances in your mind and helps you take those first steps to a better life.

The Ten Noble Values of Deeply Rooted Clergy – Draft

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The Ten Noble Values of Deeply Rooted Clergy – Draft (Not voted upon)

Our Lay Clergy training program is designed to have the individual confront the self and find out the abilities one has collected over a lifetime. During this process, it can be confusing to understand our expectations of you. We encourage growth beyond just the idea and title of what Clergy should be and value the input input of our community. Please read the following carefully, for it is the morals and ethics that make up Deeply Rooted’s culture. These are the values embraced by Deeply Rooted’s Clergy and is expected to be followed by all members of the Clergy council. If you need any information on what’s written here, don’t hesitate to contact an ordained member of Clergy for further clarification of these concepts.

Courage

We expect courage from our trainees and our Clergy. There will come times that members will fight among themselves or we may have a personal disagreement with one of our peers. This is to be expected and will continue to happen as long as continue to interact. It is our expectation that all miscommunications be handled in a professional manner. You are expected to handle your conflicts quickly and directly. If you need assistance, ordained Clergy can provide that for you.

Truth

We expect individuals to be true to themselves as well as truthful with their Mentors. This does not mean that individuals are encouraged to push agendas or lifestyles that may not be suitable for the community at large. Be truthful with your intentions when performing rituals, leading discussions, or engaging with our community. Know your own reasons for your actions and be ready to answer questions with patience when they arise.

Honor

Your word is your bond. Without honor, we are nothing. If you are asked to complete an objective by a Mentor, you are expected to complete that objective without excuse if you agree to that assignment. We expect you to complete assignments within a reasonable amount of time (1 Month from the event) so that we have a chance to review and evaluate your progress in our training program. If you chose to participate in a ritual or lead an event and you are absent from that event, you are expected to find a replacement member to cover the celebration. We understand that life happens and there are events beyond our control, yet please don’t leave the responsibility in some one’s lap without consulting some one first.

Fidelity

Being Clergy at Deeply Rooted is much like a marriage. Everything you do, including your public interactions, decides the course of how that relationship will evolve. You are committing yourself to Deeply Rooted and you very much are an example of our culture to the outside world. If you’re rude or unpleasant in public while wearing something that reflects the community (pentacle, Deeply Rooted t-shirts, etc) you are now representing not only Deeply Rooted; also the larger picture of Paganism. While you are encouraged to assist as many Pagan communities that exist, you are also expected to be only Deeply Rooted’s Clergy. Your word and bond are as good as the land we stand upon. Live up to that standard.

This is also true of your interpersonal relationships throughout the community. If you engage in behavior with our congregation for the sake of ego or selfish pursuits it will have a negative impact on your work. Please consider your relationships carefully, whether they be romantic, sexual, or otherwise. They have a dramatic effect on your future. If you have any questions before engaging with others in relationships, please consult the members of Clergy.

Discipline

There will be times that you will find yourself tempted to take advantage of situations. Having the ability to emotionally disconnect from tense situations is an asset that should be in practice in everyday life. This ensures impartial decisions are made that benefit not only the individual but support the entire well-being of the community. Having the self-discipline to separate your inter-personal issues from your professional issues is also a trait we look for in our trainees. There will be times in the future you will need to stand between two good friends and give them the best possible advice you can find. It is not built on a foundation of feelings, it’s built on a foundation of facts and observations that is the regular practice of all members of Clergy.

Hospitality

Clergy does not exist to be served, we exist to serve. It is our honor and privilege to conduct rituals, assist in Rites of Passage and collaborate with others to make the kind of future Paganism is worthy of having. There are no ‘atta-boys’ or ‘atta-girls’ that will cover the sheer exhilaration of assisting your community. If you’re looking to rest on your laurels after completing a project, you’ll be sorely disappointed. There is always work to be done and always the reward of more hard work expected from you.

Clergy and Lay Clergy are expected to make the members of the community, its Caretakers, and visiting members from other communities feel like guests of honor. We provide whatever we are capable of giving to furnish the needs of a diverse spiritual path. This includes companionship, intellectual discussion, meals or whatever form of nourishment that is required for an individual to grow along their path.

Industriousness

No one likes monotony. While consistency is a good thing, we expect our Clergy and trainees to frequently step outside their comfort zone and learn new things. This includes attending as many different types of ritual as possible, studying different pantheons outside of one owns chosen path, and also taking the advice from different stages of personal development. We also expect our Clergy to add their own unique flare and creativity to all that they do. The uniqueness of the individual only shines when in the spotlight.

Self-Reliance

While many of us are familiar with the ill-effects of slothfulness the other side of the spectrum can be too much enthusiasm. It’s important to not go beyond your means to meet the demands of Clergy. This includes health concerns, family obligations, and financial matters outside of the community. We want this experience to be healthy and effective for you in your journey. This means that spending a lot of money on a ritual or event and going beyond what you are able to contribute for the sake of ego or the sake of martyrdom is damaging to the process. If you plan on spending more than you can afford on something, please don’t hesitate to ask for help. The Clergy of Deeply Rooted appreciate your conviction to providing an immersive experience to our congregation yet we do not expect you to go without the things in your life that are important for you to survive.

Perseverance

Part of the process of transformation from Lay Clergy to ordained Clergy is backsliding.  There will be times in your growth that it may feel like you are losing your mind. You are changing who you are on the inside to match a picture of what is expected on the outside. This is a arduous task and it can seem overwhelming. What we ask of you is honest communication as to where you are in your progress. We do not expect you to ‘fake it until you make it’ and we would rather have small changes that can be sustained than large changes that can be damaging in the long run.  Everyone makes mistakes, and as long as you are honest and own those mistakes we will be here for you.

You aren’t expected to face these challenges alone. You are encouraged to seek out support from teachers, counselors, doctors or whoever else can help you. Deeply Rooted is built upon and subscribes to a tribal structure and seeking the support of friends and family alongside those members in your Tribe will only add to your experience in this training program.

Karma

This training program is 100% what you put into it and Deeply Rooted Church. You get what you give and reap what you sew. Karma is very much a part of everything that we do. When one individual fails, it sends ripples throughout the community that can trigger larger effects. Be mindful of what you involve yourself in, what your intentions are, and what message you are really sending. If you complete your assignments as required, you’ll have more tools to help you in this process.

 

Warrior Women Weekend Ritual 2018

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Ladies, please enter the Circle from the entrance and jump over the broom. This besom represents our connection to Magick, for this space that we are in is Sacred and we have the audience of the Gods and Spirits who dwell in this land. Never forget what you are about to take part in and treasure the spiral path that sprawls out before you.  Magick is about us, it is within us. As you enter, feel that swell about you and know that you are protected.

Call of the Warrior Goddesses

 

Maidens! Mothers! Crones! Please hear our appeal to You, those who have traveled before us and stand in legend and history to embolden a new generation of women! Great Goddesses, I ask you to stand at the quarters and the edges of known reality, come forth and claim your children who stand in this hallowed place. As Priestess, I awaken the land of Deeply Rooted and the Power of the Goddess Circle!

 

North

I call to The Morrigan, Great Phantom Queen, She who prevails and dominates in the North, Sovereign Ruler who inspires the best qualities of the sacred feminine and presents us challenges so that we may grow from girls to women. Please open for us the realm of Earth, let that elemental energy exist within this Circle, strong and true. HAIL AND WELCOME!

 

East

I call to Durga, Most Auspicious One and Shakti, She who dwells in the East, Great Mother of the Universe and Compassionate Healer, Empowering force that assists us with our old wounds and gently guides us towards our destinies so that we may grow from girls to women. Please open for us the realm of Air, let that elemental energy exist within this Circle, strong and true.  HAIL AND WELCOME!

 

South

I call to Sekhmet, Sacred Arbiter of the Gods and Dominator of the Battlefield, She who reigns in the South, Fierce and Accurate Hunter and She who has dominion over the Battlefield, She who aids us in our daily toils and inspires us to face our problems head on so that we may grow from girls to women. Please open for us the realm of Fire, let that elemental energy exist within this Circle, strong and true.  HAIL AND WELCOME!

West

I call to Athena, Lady of Justice and Queen of Wisdom, She who rules in the West, Heroine of legend and Keeper of sacred knowledge, She who assists us with finding solutions to the truths we face within so that we may grow from girls to women. Please open for us the realm of Water, let that elemental energy exist within this Circle, strong and true. HAIL AND WELCOME!

Spirit

I call upon Freya, presiding regally in Folkvang, the Field of the People, and passionate völva, She who inspires women to reach beyond what is in front of them and conquer the Unknown so that we may grow from girls to women, Please open for us our precious connection to the Spirit Realm, let that elemental energy exist within this Circle, strong and true. HAIL AND WELCOME!

 

Welcome to the Kingdom of Deeply Rooted, honored Ladies and divine Guests! Goddesses of the battlefield of mind and land, please bear witness to our oaths and actions within this sacred circle. May the Circle be open yet never broken! As above, so below, and so below as above! So mote it be!

 

Hekate’s Cauldron Challenge

 

We will now wash ourselves before meeting Great Queen Oya and invoking the spirit of women who have gone before us. Standing at the doorway between worlds, we now meet with Hekate – Goddess of Magick, Death, Transformation, Keeper of the Keys and Torchbearer. Hekate, please hear my call! Bless the waters within this cauldron and renew these women who stand before You. Please accept our offerings and be honored in this day as we remember the Goddess who dwells in caves to assist others and finding their way out of the darkness that plagues them. HAIL AND WELCOME, HEKATE!

 

Now, swirl around the waters three times counter-clockwise to unlock the transformative energies of this mysterious and powerful Goddess. She will be looking back from Her cauldron in the Spirit world and will whisper to you as you wash in the waters of Her womb. You are REBORN in Hekate!

 

A Call to Women of Past, Present, and Future

To our ancestors, our mothers, sisters, grandmothers who have gone before! Come to us now in this appointed time and bring with you the gifts of our heritage. I call ancestors from North, East, South, and West. I call to the Shining Ones beyond the mortal realm who are known by name and those forgotten in the sands of time. For you, the offerings upon the altar are nourishment for Your stay. HAIL AND WELCOME!

Call the Valkyrie

I call upon the Valkyrie, Choosers of the Slain, comfort to the dying heroes and Warriors that exist within the threshold of Death. Noble bearers of Shield and Sword, please stand with us in this Circle to help us in finding our footing in the realms of this world and the next.  Assist us in caring not only for others who suffer yet also for ourselves so that we may suffer no longer. In life and in death may we travel alongside our Sisters, learning a better way for ourselves and achieving our goals together. Please bear witness to our oaths and give counsel to those seeking Your wisdom within this Circle! HAIL AND WELCOME!

Call the Amazons

I call upon The Tribe of Amazons, Bearers of the Spears, Bows, and Arrows that conquered the ancient world, Inspirations of courage and might that dwell dormant within our hearts, Awaken to our call! Thought and memory of You and Your deeds now exist within the present. Assist us in our struggles and stoke within us the enthusiastic fire of a life worth living. Please bear witness to our oaths and give counsel to those seeking Your wisdom within this Circle! HAIL AND WELCOME!

Call the Priestesses of Apollo

I call upon the Priestess of Apollo, to the most revered and honored Pythia! Oracles, Fortune-tellers, Soothsayers and Sages! Those who devoted themselves to deity and to the realm of spirit in the name of hallowed Apollo.  Awaken to our call and please stand with us in this Circle and help us find ourselves in the spirit world so that we may manifest our desires in the physical. Help us bear the burden of the news we deliver when called upon by the Gods. Please bear witness to our oaths and give counsel to those seeking Your wisdom within this Circle! HAIL AND WELCOME!

 

Call of the Maasai Mother

I call upon the Mothers of the Maasai, a Tribe which exists in the present and is forever remembered in folklore passed on through generations of countless devotees. Great Mothers who raise Warriors of immense proportions, be honored and remembered now. Please help us to raise a new generation who will venerate and honor the land, the people, and the ideas of our tradition so that we may travel to the land of Ancestors, remembered and fulfilled in our obligations. Please bear witness to our oaths and give counsel to those seeking Your wisdom within this Circle! HAIL AND WELCOME!

 

We will now welcome in our ritual, the Great Queen of Africa and Orisha of Storm, Death, Transformation and Courage. We prepare ourselves in mind, spirit, and body for the coming of Oya!

 

Invocation of Oya
Hekua Oya!

I call upon the Great Queen of Africa, Lady Oya!
Warrior Goddess and Matriarch of Women from all around the world,
please come forth into our Circle!
Regardless of our origins, we share the blood of Alkebu-lan!
Be honored here today, be welcomed!
Mother Africa, Mother of all Womankind!
From Your womb we were born and are reborn!

Hail and Welcome!

Queen Oya, Mother of us all,
Share with us Your wild, indomitable spirit,
Help us conquer our fears, release us from the chains of society’s expectations,
free us from these bonds so that we may grow and mature as Your daughters!
No longer slaves captured through the lens of ignorance,
victims of a muddied past, No more!
No more!
We are reborn as free people, reimagined as free women in a world made of our own choosing!
Help your children understand their purpose and place,
And forge a new future for all Women Warriors!

Hekua Oya!

As the water buffalo, help us to stomp away our pain and hardships,
help us carry the burdens of our lives with Your vast strength,
and face the coming future with fierce determination!
Rampage through our minds and hearts with the fury of a storm,
and blow away the thoughts that keep us from moving forward!
As the mighty inferno that consumes the dry brush of the Savannah,
Burn a clear, bright path for us so we may travel together!
Bellow as the tempest the winds of change,
Rain down on us as a torrent, revealing fertile bodies and fertile minds!
As the embodiment of the River Niger,
snaking through the Wilderness to and fro,
teach us to dance in joy at the wonders You provide!

Hekua Oya!

As master of the Tides of Change, please guide us on this inward journey,
A spiral that extends from this world into the next,
buried deep within our mind’s eye and enmeshed on the tapestry created by our heartstrings,
Entwined by blood and ancestry, history and circumstance,
We are the shining students of the Great Mistress of the Universe!
Whose classroom knows only the boundaries of the imagination and Will,
With a foot in the land of the living and the dead,
Hekua Oya! Be welcomed in the Kingdom of Deeply Rooted!

Sisters, Oya is with Us!
Do you feel Her writhing in the ground as the serpent of knowledge?
Do you see Her in the endless Sky?
She is all around Us, Beside Us, Beneath Us, Within Us!
Can you feel Her through the breath of Wind at our necks?
Can you hear the whispers of the Ancient Mother driving us together?
Can you see the gleam of Her presence in the eyes of your Sister?
Can you touch the intensity of passion that boils within your breast?
Can you taste the delicious flavor of Her excitement?
Roiling and writhing in ecstasy, She is now remembered!
This is Oya! This is Her domain!
The kinships of Women, old and new, be ever sacred within this golden Circle!
Mothers, Sisters, Daughters,
Strangers who are now familiar,
Have courage beyond your wildest dreams,
Determination without limits,
And see the world anew!

We support each other in love and harmony,
and look to stamp out our petty differences.

I ask you,
Look deeply into the eyes of your opponent and call Her Sister!
See the Mother reflected back,
laughing, crying, wailing, and shouting,
in the deep, onyx pools surrounded by the glimmer of  Her unwavering Spirit!
We are no longer enemies, We are no longer strangers to each other,
We are Tribe!
Oya! Oya! Oya!
I call You Sisters, I call You Warriors, I call You Queens!
We are the Daughters of the Great Goddess, We are the Warriors of a Future of our own making!
Oya is behind us, Oya is crying for justice!
Oya will guide US!
Now and forever!
So mote it Be!

Test of Strength – Facing the Mirror of Kali

 

We have now called upon the Sentinel Goddesses of the Elements, the Women of Legend and the Ancestors of our nearly lost yet treasured past. We feel them around us and we see them reflected back in the eyes and tears of our Sisters. With the Great Queen Oya presiding over us and bearing witness to our actions, let us face a Test of Strength.

From Goddess Durga’s head, sprouts the Warrior Goddess Kali Ma! She is both ferocious and unmatched in battle. Terrible and great Kali Ma’s appearance is only one aspect of Her existence. She is also the compassionate Fighter who helps us conquer the demons that exist within us. When we look into the mirror, we challenge our ego and we have the opportunity to become more than we’ve made for ourselves. Look into the mirror, into the face of Kali, and tell us who you are, what you stand for, and what you bring the Tribe. If you cannot face this now, fear not. Simply say “Pass” Kali is patient and determined to help the children of this world transcend the suffering that keeps them from evolving. When the time is right, You will face Kali and your troubles and be reborn in Kali!

Cakes and Ale – Feeding Your Sister

As women, we bare the sacred responsibility of creating and nurturing life alongside our male counterparts. We are the womb of creation, we are the doorways between the spirit realm and the land of the living, we are the Mothers who raise the next generation. We often can be the bane of each other, and hold each other back from moving forward out of fear and misunderstanding. Let that chain be broken and the lashes we’ve received from each other be healed. Pass around this bread, look your Sister in the eye, and give Her words of encouragement for the long journey ahead. May you never hunger!

 

This wine represents the blood of Oya and all Goddesses who have been with us throughout our lives whether we have felt Their presence or not. This is the moon blood, this is the bond, this is our connection to each other. As women, we share this chalice together and create from it the world that is around us. May you never thirst!

Choosing Your Warrior Name – Challenge at the Crossroads

 

Morrigan, Durga, Sekhmet, Athena, and Freya!
Hekate of the Cauldron!
Great Queen Oya!
Kali Ma of the Mirror!
Valkyrie, Amazons, Pythia, and Mother Maasai!
Ancestors, remembered and forgotten, I ask for Your attention!
In this world, women were forgotten and owned like land and cattle. Little more than a possession and raised to believe that they were less of themselves. In this modern time, as Paganism and Witchcraft take back the mantle of truth and extend grasp into this world once more, we choose to name ourselves as an expression of this rebirth!
We celebrate all that we are and define ourselves once more in the name of the Goddess and Universal creation!

 

Sisters, if you have chosen a name for yourself, speak it now to the audience of Gods and spirits who have assembled to see this transformation. If you have not yet found yourself a new name, then fear not. For we have many more times to come together and speak these most revered words.

 

The Goddesses of the Warrior Spirit have gifted us. Take from this plate what feels right. Leave some for your Sisters and the land. Be welcomed and recognized now as Warriors within the Tribe of Deeply Rooted and Paganism!

Closing Quarters and thanking the Goddesses

 

We thank the Sentinel Goddesses of the directions, North, South, East and West. Thank you for bearing witness to this celebration of the sacred feminine. Please accept the offerings laid upon the altar for you. Stay if you can, go if you must. Hail and farewell!

We thank the Women Warriors of Legend and History. Thank you for bearing witness to this celebration of the sacred feminine. Please accept the offerings laid upon the altar for you. Stay if you can, go if you must. Hail and farewell!

We thank Goddess Hekate and Kali for Your esteemed presence within the Circle and Your help in transformation. Thank you for bearing witness to this celebration of the sacred feminine. Please accept the offerings laid upon the altar for you. Stay if you can, go if you must. Hail and farewell!

 

We thank our ancestors, the spirits who guide us and reveal to us the inner truths. Thank you for bearing witness to this celebration of the sacred feminine. Please accept the offerings laid upon the altar for you. Stay if you can, go if you must. Hail and farewell!

This ritual is complete. Our journey is beginning.  Merry do we meet, Merry do we part, and Merry do we meet again. In this life and the next! SO MOTE IT BE!

 

 

The Lonely Sovereign

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Hail the magnificence of the Night Queen,
wandering down the spiral path,
Ravens be ever at Your back,
Watching the past become memory,
and memory transform into feelings,
Feelings that inspire change

Lonely Sovereign, You walk alone in the moonlight,
Yet You feel no sense of loss,
O’ Morrigan, Great Queen,
Enshrouded in the deepest mysteries,
the pace You travel is unmatched and unparalleled,
Can I dare to walk beside You?

Thorns grab at our heels as we walk through the Garden of Regrets,
Barefoot, down a dusty road of sharpened rocks,
Ever determined am I to release myself from my bondage,
and keep up the stride that You assume, unaffected by Your surroundings,

In the Endless Night, all the time we need is present,
We reflect, we declare and convey ourselves to each other,
Lonely Sovereign, May I walk this Path with You?
Even if the way You traverse is painful and causes me to think?
What if we faced this night together?

Chaos reveals the Serpent within,
Knowledge and wisdom rushing forward like the river,
Order and Truth take their due,
And I wonder, as I become as You,
Is the battlefield so glorious when the cries of dying heroes are the only song we hear?
Does the scent of blood ignite You?

Lonely Sovereign, look deep into this women’s eyes,
and judge me as I am, for what I have become, for who I am to be,
Stinging like a hornet, Your gaze is immeasurable and unwavering,
Inescapable, all consuming, like the wrathful fire within me,
I fought with You because the Truth rendered me helpless,
Mortality, Reality, the staunch grasp of Death,
Keeping me frozen through the inferno of emotions around me.

I saw Death in the gentle gaze of the Sage,
I shook with terror at what might be revealed,
He guided me through the gates of Your temple,
And I became unswayed in my quest for You,
Let me honor You by wiping away the tears and gathering myself up,
I embrace the gifts You have bestowed upon me,
I cherish You, Great Raven Queen!

HAIL The Morrigan!
HAIL the bonfires of the past that embroil the future,
Where we first chatted, became Sisters,
Laughter and tears tearing through the monotony,
Lonely Sovereign, May I walk with You?
The time is now right.

In the dauntless journey of the soul,
We are no longer alone, thus far, and stand apart
Two mirrors of strength unspoken,
Hail the Traveler between the realms!
Who can pull us from our dreams and manifest a new existence,

I am now the Lonely Sovereign,
Subservient to none, Ruler of myself,
No longer complacent in my desires or ignorant of my tenacity,
Leaning on no one for support as I traverse the Path we once took together,
We have made our peace at last,
for the coming battle ahead, we are allies,
The anger has fallen like ashes, the tears of regret no longer quench my thirst,
We are now of each other, O’ Morrigan!
Hail and welcome!