Today, I’m sorting out what’s important in my mind. After an interesting test on alignment shows I’m *coughs* neutral good…. I realize that I’ve been suppressing something that’s been inside me all this time. A growing urge to be something more than just chaotic (at least by the mainstream definition of the word.) Now, I suppose I have to act the part.
I’m going back home to Medford in the next two weeks. Living in Marshfield has been good yet there’s more of my life that I need to work on that I can’t do within these walls. Moving back to Medford is important for me. It tells me I’m ready to accept the past, move on and make the best of a life that’s unfolded into something more beautiful than I’ve ever imagined. It’s the life I said I wanted, instead of the life I was forcing into existence. I’ve got good folks in my life and whereas I did make some bad decisions regarding those I trusted in the past, my eyes are open to not making the same mistakes again. I don’t regret it though, it was all for something and the biggest thing that leaving in the first place meant was finding people I could trust AND trusting my own instincts.
I learned to be my own hero. Not to wait for others to intervene and to be alright with being a leader. For so long, I just wanted someone else to take the reigns. It was messed up to ever believe that anyone could lead MY destiny better than myself. I know what I want and need to do more than anything and once I get settled in Medford, I’ll begin pursuing that interest with all of my heart and soul.
The place still needs work. It still needs help. I’m confident I can do the work myself and if I can’t, I’ve got some fantastic folks behind me to help me out. I am very thankful for the Tribe at Deeply Rooted Church. I am also thankful to the land at DR for the healing you’ve done upon my soul. Thank you.