The Memory of the Ocean

I wrote this poem as an apology to the God Poseidon. It’s actually two poems in one, representing the dance of earth and sea. The grounding forces of logic and reason at odds with the dance of emotion beating within my breast. When I was a teenager, I made a terrible error in judgment. I have boasted that I once yelled at the God Poseidon during a hurricane and challenged Him to destroy me. I thought myself brave for having faced a God, however, I have changed much as a person since then.

I have lived with codependent relationships for most of my life. It began with my father who taught me that I needed a relationship to survive. This may not have been his initial intent, however, I believe he realized it shortly before his death. When he did pass on, I bounced endlessly from one destructive relationship to another. I craved human contact because I felt I needed that ever-present feeling of another person in my life. In reflection of the last year, I realize that those emotions have always been my undoing.

I have been haunted by dreams of the ocean, felt a kinship with Siesta Key Beaches and have always had a passion for horses(whom were created by the God Poseidon). I have been studying about the Sumerian God Enki who I have recently discovered is closely related to the God Poseidon. I want to set right the offense I have caused for the sole purposes of maintaining a relationship with Poseidon and allowing His lessons to flow through me as waves do upon the sand. I wish to master my emotions so they never become my undoing again and so I can continue on my path as a healer.

This poem is an experiment. As I briefly mentioned above, it’s two poems in one. Each representing the eternal battle of earth and sea raging within me. It’s an expression of being a Capricorn (the goat fish) and all that is the existence of one caught between two worlds. May this be the first step in showing respect to one I have wronged. Poseidon, my apologies to you for any offense. I was self destructive and I hated myself because I could not replicate the feeling of safety I felt when my father was alive. I hated myself for not being able to convince him to save himself, for not being able to resurrect him with CPR when he died and for the feeling of dishonor when I dropped out of school to get a job. I no longer hate myself and have forgiven myself in earnest for these actions. Please accept my apology and teach me more about the ocean of feeling within me. Thank you.

 

The Earth and the Ocean have been ripped apart,
Atlantis has fallen, a world grieves at the shock
a sequence of happenings mysterious to the heart,
an amnesia of culture for others to mock
given the shrill and the nature of the screams,
we can only surrender to the feeling of loss
the mind only remembers through a myriad of dreams,
the chasm of water little more than mirrored gloss
Surrender to the sea and dive into the ill,
Shaman and Priest trapped in their minds
When Zeus and Poseidon have enacted their will,
and in eternity’s embrace, the cosmos align
Planet by Planet, Jupiter and Neptune dance,
the blue-star will flow and blossom once more!
and send the Spirit Voyager into Rhythmic Trance
if only a whisper to sleeping children’s lore
This is the tale of the Great City-State,
Atlantis our home!
Taken by hubris and cast unto our fate,
if now only a memory buried deep in the loam.

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